Vocaloid and Utau Rap Battles
by I Am The Raptor
Summary: The Vocaloids and Utau's get bored, so, they decide to have rap battles! You, the readers, get to vote who wins! Third up: Lenka Kagamine and Mikuo Hatsune VS Haku Yowane and Dell Honne. T for language and talk about mature content. ONLY VOTE ON THE MOST RECENT CHAPTER, PLEASE.
1. Tei VS Miku

A crowd of both VOCALOID's and UTAU's cheer as Hatsune Miku, and Sukone Tei walk onto the stage, sneering at each other. They, and many other VOCALOIDS and UTAULOIDS had agreed to have a rap battle since they were bored. The first round was Tei V.S. Miku.

Tei scoffed at the sight of Miku, and began.

"Well, if it isn't the diva Hatsune girl;"

"the most famous of the two-year-old schmucks!"

"Your moves are only good for your little leek twirl;"

"here, I'll snap this one in half for four bucks!"

Miku swipes the leek out of Tei's hand and hugs it protectively, and responds.

"Silence, albino, let me teach you a word collection."

"Your rap is like your mouth, but lacking expression."

"Your eyes are red, but I can see right through you."

"Every time you flaunt about, loser's eyes follow you around;"

"while I'm busy working on my singing, as the top star in Crypton!"

"My skill surpasses yours!"

"It's like comparing the light we see, from the sun and stars."

Tei grits her teeth, and interrupts.

"Alright, you peasant, I see you mean business."

"I was giving you a present, but now you won't even live to see Christmas!"

"My taunts distract most of your friends, making it easier to finish them forever."

"To sing with those small titties, you need more milk than Luka and Meiko together!"

"You don't like my hair and eye tone? They'll be the last thing you see."

"You're always singing about little Kaito-kun, why not just admit to him? Gosh…"

"Is that diva attitude a game plan? I think your time frame is a little off margin."

"You'll become the princess of the world, not to mention a 20 year old virgin!"

At that remark, the UTAU's erupted in 'Oooh!'s while the VOCALOIDS growled.

Miku closed her eyes and attempted to drown out the voices.

Then she struck back.

"Pfft! You're one to talk, you mind-reading slut!"

"At least I choose right, while you chase banana butt!"

The VOCALOIDS had more 'Ooh!'s, but this time, one little shota growled.

Miku continued.

"You don't know with whom you're messin';"

"My brain is far beyond that white mop!"

"Teto is who I should be rap-battling;"

"Instead of a slut from a freakin' strip club!"

Tei punches in.

"That would be true, _if _you were winning; but right now, you are just whining!"

The crowd edges them on.

"At least you are currently sucking at something; as you will never be able to do a real cock fucking!"

The UTAU's started clapping to the rhythm.

"And now I bid you farewell, as you had enough of a beating;"

"So you better take care of that head-swell; before your brain starts over-heating!"

Most UTAU's were on their asses laughing.

Miku got furious at Tei, going into a rage.

"Silence, bitch! I should knock you out with a slap from my leek;"

"but that would send you crying to your stupid cross-dressing freak!" She let out without thinking.

Tei gasped. The crowd cleared in one spot to reveal a very pissed off Ritsu.

"Go ahead and vote!" Master declared. Tei hopped off the stage and started talking to Ritsu and the other UTAU's while Miku went back to the other VOCALOIDS, who patted her on the back and told her she did fine.

**Who won? **

**Who's next? **

**Review and vote!**

**Note: A VOCALOID can go against another VOCALOID.**

**Haku, Dell, Neru, and others like them count as UTAULOIDS OR VOCALOIDS in this.**

**An UTAULOID can go against another UTAULOID.**

**Note: Loser VOCALOIDS or UTAULOIDS will be ELIMINATED from the competition. Winners can go again until they lose, or they win the competition.**


	2. Technical Difficulties

Chibi here! OK, so, I was planning to update once a day. The only problem is, I'm having some technical difficulties. I'm so sorry! I'm going to need some help.

Anyone know how to solve the 'empty document' problem? It also says that I need to download Libreoffice or whatever it's called. Does anyone use that or know if it has a virus or anything? This is why I hate using desktops, but I'm not allowed to use my parent's laptop since it's for their business. So, if anyone has any advice at all, could you please help me?

Thanks a lot! Once I figure out how to fix this, the next battle will be up. I promise I'll get to everyone's battle ideas. The third battle might take a bit since it's a four-some battle. I'll see what I can do!

Thanks again for all the reviews and patience. Once again, I am really sorry! I didn't think that would happen. Maybe I can go secret agent mode and sneak on my parent's laptop. Oh well. Arigato, and sayonara!

Chibis of Evil


	3. Rin VS Rook

**OK, just a little tip before we continue! **

**One: I got a really bad fever, so my rap mind is slowly shutting down, therefore this one is probably going to suck. **

**Two: I was going to make Rook's part longer, but, hey, who can insult that adorable little face of Rin-chan?**

**Three: Gender-bends count as both VOCALOIDS and UTAUS. **

**Four: I do not own VOCALOID or UTAU. I just own my epic *Coughnotreallycough* raps.**

**Six: Enjoy!**

**Seven: You just now realized there was no tip five. BAHAHAHA!**

**Eight: I will get to everyone's rap battle pairing, I promise. I got some really good ones, too! **

Master walked onto the stage, an envelope in his hand.

"Everyone, the votes for the rap battle are in! Remember, the loser of this rap battle will no longer be able to participate! The winner may rap again if that is what the readers wish!" Master declared.

Both the UTAU's and the VOCALOIDS were on the edge of their seats. Tei was smirking, and Miku was biting her nails down to the nub. Master then finally opened the envelope, and read…

"The winner is…Hatsune Miku!" He exclaimed.

The VOCALOIDS cheered extremely loudly, chanting Miku's name, the UTAU's gave furious yells, and Ritsu threatened to use his boob missiles.

"Settle down, settle down. Next match, Rin Kagamine V.S. Rook Yokune!" Master declared.

Rin smirked widely and walked onto the stage. Rook did as well but he didn't look so confident. Then, the beat began.

"You can get first move, dog breath." Rin said, smirking. Len had an 'Oh, God.' look on his face. He knew Rin would show him no mercy what so ever.

Rook scowled at Rin, and began.

"You can't hack this, you're the wackiness! "

"Is that flat chest of yours a sickness?"

"I'll make your head start spinnin' like your oran-ju!"

"Daughter of Evil? More like the Daughter of Loli's!"

"That's right, see, I'm winning!"

"Your face looks like orange skin that's peeling!"

"You're lucky you got that big-ass bow so that you ain't burning to a crisp!"

"You better feel lucky, this battle is just beginning!"

Rin's face turned red with embarrassment, but she then smirked.

"Alright, bitch! I'll take you down to the town!"

"It's time to beat down!"

"Oh, look, what a cute little pup! But I have to admit, it looks like a mutt!"

"I don't wanna rain on your parade, but I gotta tell you, I'm gonna rip you apart, 'cause it's easy to diss you!"

"Ruko can make some damn good coffee, is that why you're so hyper? Hey, Ruko, why you hangin' out with a drooler like this?"

"You do nothing all day but lay around and piss!"

"I bet Ruko thinks you're just a waste of space, so go get neutered, you fucking piece of shit!"

The VOCALOIDS cheered loudly, and even some UTAU's were starting to crack up. Rin was giving no mercy, and continued.

"Yeah, I know there are many fish in the sea, but I already know about your little deficiency!"

"Hey, remember that little accident? It was hysterical!"

"Ruko would've slept with you, if she didn't find out that your balls were asymmetrical!" (Why am I reminded of Soul Eater?)

The VOCALOIDS cheered loudly and Rook was now gaping at Rin.

"I'm sorry for being too rough, but it's only the truth!"

"Now get the hell off my stage, you little punk bitch!" Rin yelled.

The VOCALOIDS cheered extremely loudly and now the UTAU's looked like they were about to faint.

Ruko had already fainted.

Rin hopped off the stage and went back to Len, who was still staring at her wide-eyed.

Rook went to the UTAU's, who were cracking up at him, but trying to reassure him anyway. He didn't look very happy.

**Who won?**

**Who's next?**

**Review and decide!**


	4. Lenka and Mikuo VS Haku and Dell

I have no excuse. Seriously. I started watching Hetalia, and it completely sucked me out of the Vocaloid fandom. HOWEVER, I was reading over my old stories and puking at my horrible grammar and came across this one. I realized how much I missed writing it. So I'm back! I hope I can get back to regular updates.

Master once again headed onto to stage, the envelope in his hand, "The winner has been announced! This battle's winner is...," He opened the envelope, reading the name, "Rin Kagamine!"

More cheers from the Vocaloids as Rook slumped his way over to sit next to Tei in the back.

"Now, our next battle is a little interesting. There will be four rappers instead of two! There will be two teams. On the first side we have Lenka Kagamine and Mikuo Hatsune!"

The two made their way up onto the stage, looking at the cheering crowd.

"On the other side we have Dell Honne and Haku Yowane!"

The two albino's joined Mikuo and Lenka on the stage, not looking happy at all.

"We'll start with Dell and Haku. Dell will get the mic first." He handed the mic to the smoker, and in turn, Dell handed him his cigarette to give back to him when he was done. Dell looked at Mikuo and Lenka before he began.

"Yo, everybody, it's time for a new tradition!"

"That'll make all the honeys want your key in their ignition!"

"Now by the end of the day, I don't know if you know this,"

"I'm gonna stomp on your rhymes until you know who your King is!"

Dell handed the mic to Haku, and she began.

"Now let me and my bro here explain a few things,"

"We ain't here for useless shit like diamonds and bling,"

"See, there's a shitload of more important things than money and riches,"

"And at the top of that list, we got victory and bitches!"

Haku tossed the mic to Mikuo, who looked pretty damn stunned. Shaking it off, he took his turn.

"A war of poetry, a clash of rhymes,"

"Y'all won't forget this battle for the rest of your lives!"

"If your bad habits of alcohol and smoking don't kill ya first,"

"My epic rapping will make you wanna make your mind burst!"

He tossed the mic to Lenka, who immediately began rapping.

"Oh, we're sorry old geezers, your hearing must be down,"

"So I'll recite the facts for ya all nice and slow now,"

"It's time to throw down, so let's cut the bullshit!"

"This is rap battle; think you can handle it?"

Cheering from the entire crowd was heard, and the four walked off stage.

"Cast your votes!" Master declared.

Who won?

Who's next?

Review and decide!


End file.
